Sometimes I am anguished by thoughts that I am not good enough. Today as I listened to this familar refrain, I asked, exactly in what ways do I feel this way?
We were visiting with my in-laws yesterday. My Sister-in-Law is an excellent hostess while my Husband and I prefer to spend our free time with our children. Do I want to do entertain? Is there time as I work on Saturdays, the major entertaining day of the week?
I think about the time I spend with my own friends. We gather once a week and take turns hosting. At these times, I excel. Perhaps, I already have what I think I lack.
Again, this same Sister-in-Law is a great conversationalist. I envy people who converse well. I am a quiet person usually, except to a select few, of which you are a part. What can I do to get better at this? Confidence, I have been told. It is true that if I am anxious, I clam up and words come awkwardly. Relaxed, I am intelligent and self-assured, holding my own in a debate or friendly banter. Perhaps, I have most of what I need.
Again, dear Sister-In-Law is a world traveller while I am afraid to go on a plane or even cross the mountains. We do not have the funds to be jet-setters but we appreciate the area of the world where we live. I also enjoy movies and books of different cultures and meeting people with different points of view and backgrounds. Perhaps, being content is enough.
I am not my Sister-in-Law; I have my own interests and priorities. I can improve in areas if that is what I desire. Admiration doesn't have to lead to jealousy or beliefs of inferiority.
I am getting there.