Friday, July 29, 2005

My turn for a holiday, 3 hours north to a wedding and south again then 10 hours east to see my Grandma and other family members.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Words I Learned from Jane

Alacrity-speedy willingness
Volubility-speaking incessantly
Tractable-easily handled, docile
Invective-strongly attacking words
Censure-reprove, harsh criticism
Diffidence-shy, lacking self confidence
Forward-bold in manner, presumptuous
Verdure-green vegetation

I love summer's verdure. I have indulged my sunny days in the gardens of Mansfield Park. Perhaps on another, I can wrap myself in the stylized foilage of Emily Carr.

One of the possible results of growing up with censure is diffidence. Invective speech can cause fear in a child that even as an adult is hard to leave behind.

The acquiescence of a tractable character is easier to obtain than with a officious one. The domineering person dismisses others' ideas while the tractable person is easily convinced. Officiousness dearly seeks the company of the manageable.

To some, I am voluble. I speak non-stop. That I could speak with alacrity would be surprising to others. They see only the quiet and diffident deportment. They could not imagine that I am capable of being forward, as I am with my close friends, speaking sometimes when I ought not.

I hope I do not forget these felicious words; they are fun to play with.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A lioness

if she was taunted,
would the queen slink?
more likely she would shake her head
before closing her jaws abruptly.


this lioness that resides within
responds quietly to the stalking
her roar could frighten but instead
she gnaws inside her den, aware of her fierceness

Monday, July 25, 2005

If you could see
my eyes,
the reasons
and intentions
within the reflections of black,
then you might notice yourself
smiling back
but instead
we never meet
although our hands greet

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Mark 9:7

"Then a cloud formed, overshadowing them, and a voice came out of the cloud,

'This is My beloved Son, listen to Him!' "

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Excerpt from a Life

July 28, 1974
We left at about 1:30 for Reinbolt. We went to see Grandma's grave. Went inside the church. It was a different feeling to go into a small church with no crowds of people. I said a prayer in there for our safety. Rlynne was playing the organ and looking through books. I asked her if she had any respect. She told me to quit trying to act holy.

That's how I want to try to act.

From the present:
The movie Jesus Christ Superstar had left a big impact on me. Mango and I saw it eight times in our small theatre's three day run.
Okay, maybe I should say Ted Neeley's portrayal of Jesus left a big impact on me, but nonetheless the religious reaction was as real and sincere as fifteen year old Carol could be but unfortunately the desire for holiness didn't last.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Be Baptized

In Acts 2, Peter the apostle gave a sermon to the people who had witnessed and assented to the crucifixion of Jesus. After being convinced that they had not only murdered an innocent man but that this man was the Son of God, they asked in verse 37, "Brethren, what shall we do?'
Peter replied in verse 38, "Repent and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."
In verse 41, "So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls."

Baptism is the act by which a person is united with Jesus into His death. It is a burial with Christ. "Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life." Romans 6:4

Examples can be found in the book of Acts of people becoming Christians. There is the Ethiopian eunuch in 8:27-39, a woman named Lydia in 16:13-15 and a jailer in 16:23-34.

Faith demonstrated by a simple act of obedience is the entryway into Christ.

"For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ." Galatians 3:27

Thursday, July 21, 2005


Faith that Jesus is the Christ and that He was risen from the dead is the foundation of Christianity. Romans 10:9-10 states "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation."

A person desiring to become a Christian must confess the faith that is in his heart. An Ethiopian eunuch in the Scriptures was asked if he believed with all his heart, he responded with a beautiful, simple confession of his faith. "I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God." Acts 8:37

Faith needs to be expressed.

"Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him and he in God." 1John 4:15

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


After reading the Bible, you will become aware that you haved not lived up to the Biblical standards. This is a natural response for no one is able to meet God's righteousness apart from Him "for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

Still God requires people to turn from their sins to Him. Repentance is the desire and willingness to change the direction of our lives. Mark 2:17 and Acts 3:19 show the necessity for repentance.

Changes are needed but fortunately, He does not expect us to succeed without His help or our faith. Roman 1:17 says that "the just shall live by faith" which is a living faith that overcomes weaknesses through belief in the power of God. This doesn't mean that the Christian walk is going to be easy, for you will continue to struggle against sinful desires but after becoming a Christian, a faithful dependance, a willingness to follow and a belief in His mercy will ensure eventual victory. We will never be perfect but instead there will be a process of being transformed or perfected by God's Word. 2Thessalonians 5:23-24

"O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. " Romans7:24-25

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Scripture asserts that there is a God and that He created mankind. Man sinned and God had a redemptive plan for His creation, His Son Jesus. Genesis 1-3. Jesus was the perfect sacrifice necessary to save the human race. Hebrews 10:12, 1John 4:10, Titus 2:14

The gospel, the good news of the kingdom, is revealed to us in the New Testament. These Words were given by God so that we might know His Will and follow His Son to a joyful eternity. Faith is the result of hearing God's Words and being assured of their trustworthiness. Psalm 118:30 states that "The Word of the Lord is tried; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him."
Faith is demonstrated by obedience to our loving Creator. Hebrews 11 is a list of men and women whose actions testified to their faith.

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

Monday, July 18, 2005


Several years ago, I wondered how I was to know God's will. I thought He should have a voice that guides me. After getting extremely bad advice from this inner voice, I sought elsewhere for direction.

As Romans 10:17 states, faith comes through hearing His word. John 17:17 says that God's word is truth. His Word is a rock to stand on. If you read and believe that the Words of the Bible are of God then you have a measure of faith. Keep on reading for you will discover that these Words are more dependable even than your own thoughts and opinions. Perhaps you will see that you can trust your life to this Author and do as He desires of you.

If you want to have faith, read God's Word. Let him talk to you directly.
Desire to know the Truth above all else, seek and you will find.
The Words of the Bible are powerful. Romans 1:16 states "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also the Greek."

Experience being led by the power of God.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Romans 10:17

"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Excerpts from a Life

As I was reading my journal today, I came across an entry on July 12,1974 when my friend Mango and I had been to a nearby city, Norton, to shop.

"Mango got T-shirt ("Male Chauvinist") at Bay. I got one at Zellers. Its blue (Thin is In")"

I remember feeling that I was making some kind of statement. Actually we both were but I am convinced that Mango was as unsure of her statement as I was of mine. I wish that I had a snap of both of us in our purchases that day.
I wore that tee a lot. I liked the strange, quizzical reactions I got from people.

I know it is hard to see from this picture, but this t-shirt has a thin woman sticking out her tongue at a fat woman. This was my way of sticking my tongue back.

Actually, both choices are against chauvinism.

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Wind Comforts Still

The mother silently opened the bedroom window
to a warm summer day
while her daughter slept.

she is comforted
by the billowing yellow curtain
in the gentle breeze.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

today I have been trying unsuccessfully to create a sideblog

I could've
been reading
or writing chapter two of my first novel
or trying to figure out how to network my laptop
or working on what shoulds to do

but you know what?
it is the end of the day and I am glad
for the time spent with my children,
she is so pleasant
and he is so creative and funny
the other is doing so well in summer school
hey I bought the groceries
took the garbage out
I exercised
and now I realize that I am also glad
for the time spent with html


There is a women I work with that likes to boss others around. I find her difficult. She is tough and mean to those she doesn't like or respect. Getting along with her is like sparring. It doesn't seem fair to those who don't believe in being mean back.
Then there is another part to her that is rarer to catch like the look of fear when she is troubled because matters aren't going her way or the smile that appears fifteen minutes after being confronted. She seems amazed that you still are talking to her.
It is those moments that teach me to to look closer.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Words for Her

I was contemplating the reason why I write. I surprisingly concluded that it is because I like myself the most when reading the words I have written. Not at the moment of writing though, it takes about six months for objectivity to kick in but after that I am able to enjoy and say, "I like her.
I hope for the time when once the words have flowed from my belly, written or spoken, I will immediately respond by putting my arms around her saying, "How wonderful !"

I Ought to Surprize Them

Below is a quiz that I suspect is a joke as I did it twice with opposing answers yet the results were the same. I am interested to know if anybody doing this test, received differently than I.
Or is it that my computer knows me so well that I can be computed only one way.

Slow and Steady
Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

I suspect that these series of quizzes were written from some one who does not have an appreciation for the finer introverted characteristics. Else they might have said:

(My daughter designed this picture of her Mom by the way. I like her interpretation!)


Your friends see you as the finest of characters
careful and sure

Your friends are willing to wait for your
keen judgement

Monday, July 11, 2005

A Private Person Wonders

I need to know
this or that
why I feel
how I think

I need to speak loud enough
to hear

Then sensibly turn
my moments outward
to understand
the other murmurs

This why
and how

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Psalm 104:24

"O Lord, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches."

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Excerpts from a Life

July 5, 1974
(copied from my traveling diary)
We are now 58 miles from Calgary. There are so many buildings and signs and we are here in a parking lot. It's 1 pm. Ate dinner in parking lot.
Went to Calgary Stampede. First thing we did was watch the rodeo. That was kinda boring. In between events they had some stunt drivers and this guy on an old airplane who stood on the top of it and did all of these stunts. Such as standing on hands, hang by toes.
Then we went into the midway. Rlynne and I got pins made with our picture on it. We went into one little sideshow. This little man was in there. He was pretty short. We didn't go on any rides (it was raining)
Got a hanging poster that says "To know him is to love Him!"
We went through exhibits. Went on a free train ride. We went through the barns. There was one really large steer.
Rlynne got a cowboy hat.
I took picture of the midway. Then we went to the Indian Village. I took a picture of Mom, Dad and Rlynne on the bridge by Elbow Lake.
Mom took a picture of me in front of a tepee.
Then we went and sat in the park inside the fair. Took a picture of the Husky Tower.
There was a country and western group playing in the park.
We went to watch Chuck Wagon races. Watched from outside of gate.
Then went to watch the Indian Dance.
After that walked through the fair. (It stopped raining for a little while but started up again)
Watched fireworks and then left.
Kept camper in park. That's where we slept.(By the way,there were so many cute guys you didn't know where to look first)

Friday, July 08, 2005


for the change of season

beat you again

I feel languid
but lived in

who cares

I am fallibly alive
disturbed by the paradox
to love it

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Proverbs 16:2

"All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits."

Saturday, July 02, 2005

She Has None

She sits fearfully when she thinks no one is looking. She needs to control the events of her life but now she is being taught the difficult lesson that every controller must.
Her baby was suddenly taken from her womb and lay in a respirator. It will be a difficult journey for the mother as she learns about life from her child.