Tuesday, May 31, 2005


I read that the average man has 2.21 phobias.
Women have 3.55!
What about you?

I hope none reading suffer from barophobia which I think would be the worst phobia on the list. This is the fear of gravity. Would this be the fear that gravity might suddenly stop or the fear of being attached to the planet itself? This is just too terrible and being as susceptible as I am, I am afraid I will develop it. The second worst one is optophobia, the fear of opening one's eyes. I can understand the fear of closing one's eyes, but opening?
Other peculiar ones are:
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple.
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.

Reading this list makes me almost glad for the phobias I do have. Which, to name a few are:
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Hypsiphobia or acrophobia- Fear of heights.
To a limited degree, laliophobia or lalophobia- Fear of speaking.
and as for the rest you will have to guess.

They are NOT:
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.
Sophophobia- Fear of learning.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Homilophobia- Fear of sermons.
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Stupid laws!

Why are there so many stupid rules made?
I am not talking about the moral laws that protect our lives against murder and theft etc but the silly little laws that man likes to make.

Why make them at all?
A legality to avoid law suit?
A means to establish some order on an unordered society? It does so because if you draw a line, most will go over it but it is best to draw it anyways. Then people will feel good if they break the law just a little bit and will hopefully keep it at that.
The problem is that the law makers might not really expect you to keep the law but if you don't and the circumstances are favorable, you could be in big trouble.

I wonder about the type of person that actually goes around noting who violates such laws.
I wonder about the people that keep these laws so meticulously.
I wonder about the people that don't believe rules apply to them because of these stupid examples that they think proves everything.
I wonder at those who walk between the lines.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Proverbs 16:31

"The ear that heareth the reproof of life
abideth among the wise."

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Excerpt from a life

Feb 22, 1974
Went to Rotary Carnival. You don't know how hard I was wishing that Chevy would be there and he was. He came with his brother. He was sitting on the same side as us. (Mango and I) Every few seconds I'd check to see if he was there. He's so cute. Mango, of course, doesn't think so. She won't even let me talk about him and I just have to. But I gave her a compliment and she let me at least say something about him. Sometimes I'd look at him and he'd be looking my way. I wish he'd like me. I think I'm the only one that likes him.

Friday, May 27, 2005

The God-fearing characters of the Bible seem flawless. Then you look again and see that Moses who is referred to in the Bible as a man and a servant of God actually refused to speak for Him. Noah, who walked with God, got inebriated. In the Old Testament, men were polygomous, including the wise King Solomon. The biggest example of sinfulness among the faithful is King David. He committed adultery then murdered her husband. This was a man who was after God's heart.

Anyone who thinks that they are not good enough to become a Christian needs to look again. These Bible characters are considered great because they believed that there is nothing that God cannot do. Even though this does not take place quickly as is evidenced by the above examples, God does perfect the imperfect. He purifies the impure and makes holy His children.

Thursday, May 26, 2005


Smell is powerful evoker of memories.

A candle just snuffed out immediately takes me back to my Catholic upbringing. White and red robed boys appear before me extinguishing the candles after mass. A marble Jesus dies on a cross against a backdrop of red brick.

In the spring, lilacs watch my sister and I walking to school. We stop to smell and I get too close to their aroma and scratch my eye on a lilac bush. Lilacs are still my favorite flower. I cannot get close enough.

Sage in a prairie field and there I am with my Mother who says she loves the smell of sage as she rolls a piece between her palms. I know now she was remembering the reserve where she grew up, the crushed sage to her nose.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Collective Agreement

between said homemaker, Carol and her respective family

The agreement
1.0 will be effective from May 26,2005 until the said homemaker grows bored with said agreement.
1.1 entitles the homemaker to apply for retroactive hours of leisure.

General Definitions
2..0 Homemaker applies to Carol. who by definition is an on-call employee .
2.1 The homemaker is not a temporary position in accordance with the covenantal provision of Matt 19.5 and 19.6.
2.2 Carol, the homemaker will be considered a casual employee. This will ensure flexibilty and the ability to decline hours if she so desires.
2.3 There will be no transfers, promotions or resignations but there will be several benefits.

Family Rights
3.0 The said family is entitled to complain if they:
i. have no clean underwear
ii. have not received sufficient air time
3.1 The said family has no entitlement to lay-off, demote, discipline, suspend or discharge their homemaker.
3.2 Other family members are to be treated with the same consideration as the homemaker.

No Strikes or Lockouts
4.0 If said homemaker is perceived to be involved in an illegal strike, slowdown or stoppage of work during the term of this agreement, the family will instruct her to return to her work only after ensuring that she is not just involved in a long coffeebreak.

5.0 Regular hours will be 7 3/4 hours.The homemaker will be entitled to spend the remainder of the time in any pursuit that is deemed necessary for the well being of her soul.
5.1 Split shifts and even multi-split shifts are encouraged.
5.2 The homemaker is entitled to Sundays off.
5.3 If the homemaker is at another job site those hours will count towards her day's quota. Overtime may be required.
5.4 There will be two rest periods of 15 minutes, and two meal periods of 30 minutes.

Availability During Rest and Meal Periods
1.0 The homemaker will be required to be available to return to work at any time as long as there is sufficient proof of necessity.

Wage Appendix

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Mood: discouraged

Ask why:
A co-worker wondered what I do all day since I only work two shifts. I didn't feel like elaborating. Her question made me doubt my productivity as all I really want to do is write. Perhaps I have been overindulging.

Work is busy after a long weekend.

I feel like I should be always positive but I am not. Sometimes I just want to isolate.

The words that hurt the most are when I tell myself, "I am not good enough."

The reality is I am obsessed with writing. The good part about this is that it is helping me. I am still getting the essentials done. My family is not complaining.

Most people are used to running at full speed. Stress is dangerous to our minds and bodies. Not everyone can understand the people that prefer to live a de- stressed life.

The lab is a busy place. I want to be a good team player and not take conflicts personally.

I can not be positive all the time. There might be people who can but I have to accept where I am right now.

I am good enough!

"I have a wonderful life", I say as a bell tinkles.

Monday, May 23, 2005

I Think I Understand

We were at my in laws today. My Father in law has been put in a lodge. It might be temporary. He is 89 years old. His wife burned herself out. My theory is that she is trying too hard to protect him.

I have never seen him angry before and it's not as if it is very apparent, just an under current of rebellion. Like, he refused to use the walker and hit the automatic door button with his cane. "That is what it is for."

I wanted to tell her to let go.

I wanted to tell him I understand his sense of betrayal.

I thought how similar I am to her.
wanting to protect
wanting to control
inability to cope when I can't
eyes looking for sympathy

I thought how similar I am to him.
not wanting to be told what to do
wanting to disguise my anger
not wanting to be left alone
eyes looking for sympathy

I love them both. It is hard for a daughter in law, too.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

The Wait

"He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly: Amen.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus."

Revelation 22:20

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Not an excerpt, but a memory sparked by one...

I was in grade 9. For music, we had to critique a song and present it to the class.
I poured over my records. Knowing that my Partridge Family records were not cool, I asked my older sister if I could borrow one of hers. She looked through her albums and handed me Cream and Steppenwolf albums. After listening to the songs she suggested for the first time, I chose Steppenwolf's "Magic Carpet Ride". I did my analysis and felt prepared.

I stood before the class and explained the drug connotations.My classmates liked my selection, especially a boy called Sam.
He asked me if the class could hear "The Pusher" from the album as well. I said "Sure!"
Then I sat,stunned, while John Kay belted out, "Goddam the pusher" over and over again while Sam rocked to the music with his eyes closed. It seemed to be a long song.

The moment was redeemed after class though when Sam said to me,"Hey Rodunski, you're all right!"

last name changed to protect the naive

Friday, May 20, 2005

Music Meme Variation

I was tagged by Jennifer
for a music meme. I am tweaking it abit as I don't know the rules for meming.

1. What is your music listening style
eg. listen to one song over and over and over
or sing and dance to all your favorite tunes pretending you are in front of a packed audience

2. What is your favourite source of music? and why?
eg. radio because it is cheap
or from the library because the songs you like can't be purchased anymore and oh yes, it is cheap

3. What is the last music recording that you purchased?
eg.Jann Arden's Greatest Hits or Alison Krausse and Union Station's Lonely Runs Both Ways or an 8-track of Convoy by C.W. McCall (Don't look at me!)

4. What are your 5 favorite songs?
eg. I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash
Whatever Happened to Old Fashioned Love by B. J. Thomas
Heartbeat, It's a Lovebeat by Tony DeFranco
Lion by Shari Ulrich
Crazy Monkey by Jensen Interceptor
(If anybody has heard of these artists, please leave a comment!)

5. Who do you want to respond to this meme?
eg anyone who is willing to share

Thursday, May 19, 2005

My Children (about time)

My eldest daughter wants to be a graphic artist. I can imagine her doing that. Today she brought home a DVD that she made along with two of her classmates. Her Dad and I were impressed by the camera angles and special effects.
Her art teacher this year is stressing the purpose of art. She is catching on that art is more than just copying well. She is talented. I am proud.

I like to tease my middle girl that she should be a laboratory technologist. She groans and says, "That's boring, Mom!" Seriously, I think she would make a really good mom. She is patient. She quietly tells me,"No, you can't go on the computer, I have homework!" She is gentle except to her brother. She is good at laundry and she keeps her bedroom tidy.She is a caregiver. She doesn't know what she wants to do yet but I can't wait to see as her choices unfold. I am proud.

My son, the youngest, wants to be a newspaper editor. He started his own class newspaper and his classmates lined up to read the one hand-written edition. He recruited his friends to write the articles, make puzzles and cartoons. He is the only child in his class to know what the National Post is and he asked for the National Geographic as a birthday present.
I haven't actually asked today but I am thinking that his career choice might have changed to musician. He is currently into playing his guitar and recently purchased ukulele.Either way, I am proud.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I'm Tired

I did not sleep well last night, up at 3 am. Having warm milk did not help this time. Doing progressive muscle relaxation exercises also did not help. I moved to the livingroom so as not to disturb my husband and the cat thought that it was time for breakfast. She cried by my head. Then I had to work today at 7 am. I made it, though.

To help me stay awake at work:
I prayed.
I phoned a friend to pray for me.
I did quigong exercises in the handicap bathroom stall at coffee.
I went outside at noon for some fresh air.

After work, I raced by the kids saying, I have to get some sleep. I listened to a relaxation tape of acoustic guitar and ocean surf. It did relax me but I did not fall asleep. I phoned by husband to pick up some Kentucky Fried Chicken while I, okay I admit it, went on the computer, alternated with lying on the couch. Now, I've skipped the Wednesday Bible Class.

Sometimes, you just gotta do...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Her Name is Beloved

She is an optimist and a sweet woman. She massages my neck and encourages me softly with her English accent. She is a newlywed that adores her change of status. Her eyes look softly on her husband as she recalls their first meeting again. Her co-workers warned her not to sit with him because he was strange. We always laugh at this and nudge him.

She had a photographic memory and was a well admired child. She was going to be a veterinarian. There was so much hope for this girl.


Her husband has to tape notes on the wall reminding her of the household duties. She gets lost in the city yet she walks at night. She hands out sesame bars to panhandlers.

She stuffs gauze under her eyeglass lens when her eye hurts, a remnant from twenty years ago.

She looks at herself and her usual understanding sours for a minute as she remembers the car accident that changed her neurological patterns. Then she looks again at her husband.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Series of Attachments and Separations

there was birth
by the expected
losses of attention

there were other sisters
some lost more

I survived

I found another faithful parent
whose womb I need not leave

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Psalm 136:1

"O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever."

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Excerpt from a life

Nov 25,1973
I didn't go to church. I found out I can do the splits.Legs are sore from doing splits and dancing so much.

Dec. 9,1973
Slept in late, 11:30. Didn't go to church. Went skating.

Dec. 30,1973
Today I didn't go to church.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Come let us reason together part II

For those interested in reading the discussion I have been having with Alastair on the subject of baptism and whether infants need to be baptized go to here and scroll to see last comment on May 3/05 post.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

They All Have a Thing to Say

My eldest's chore today was to make the crust for the meat pies I was making from the leftover roast. We had a great visit while she recounted the activities of her schoolday.

"Are you sure that you are remembering to double the ingredients?" I asked in between her stories.
"Yes, yes," looking perturbed as she usually does when I remind her to do things.
I learned that her physics teacher spent class time to show them his travel slides of Israel and Mount Everest. "How thoughtful," I think but keep quiet.

"Let me test your honesty..."
"Oh, oh!" I think and she asks me if she is a good singer. Her friends, Andrew and Richard, were impressed to hear her voice as she sang to midi versions of Beatles songs. They teasingly inquired whether she would on the school's idol show. Then Andrew obsessed and sang to midi songs all afternoon.

"Oh, Mom, this doesn't look right," she points to the small lump of pastry. "I forgot to double the shortening." So she starts over again and I get to hear what happened yesterday.

These after school moments when they are full to share and I am ready to receive are precious.

She uses the leftover pie dough to make her favorite Sneak Pie loaded with brown sugar, margerine and milk.

At supper, she announces to her siblings that it is pie day.
Her sister says,"No, March 14th is Pi Day." We all look at her in surprise.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Hum Me

The janitor mopped around our feet, humming a melody. As he moved around the room, the tune increased in intensity and seemed to fill the large and almost empty theatre of the lunchroom. I wanted to ask him what song was filling his mind but I thought that the question would make him self conscious and he would stop.

That did not stop the grocery store clerk as she scanned my items, though. I listened carefully while she hummed, trying to catch a word. When I heard "Lord", I boldly asked what song she was singing. She responded by widening her lips in a beautiful spiritual. Afterwards, she smiled as she continued to scan with the words more clearly meant for me. I packed my groceries in peaceful enjoyment.

"I am fourteen and sitting at the kitchen table with my Dad. With a mischievious smile, he hums along with me, teasing me of an unconscious habit. I am surprised by the silliness of our moment."

At work today, after the encounter with the janitor, I became conscious of the Jann Arden song that has been haunting me for the last few days but I don't think my co-workers could hear the soft sounds of me...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Etymology of Art

What is art? Today, I decided to acquaint myself better with this beautiful and concise word. I have previously defined it for myself as an expression of emotions but to really understand what art is, it would be helpful to know the history of the word itself. A good dictionary definition and encyclopedic knowledge would prove useful, as well.

In my brief examination of this tiny word, I found it most interesting, that in its' broadest sense, art is any skill gained by mankind through learning or practice. Within this definition, all things pursued by humans are art. I like the way my off-line Oxford defines art- a "human skill or workmanship as opposed to the work of nature." In our times, art has been narrowed to refer primarily to creative skill while technically art is a more generic term.(By the way, the etymology of 'technically' is from another Greek word, techne, which also means art!)

To name just a few artistic endeavors, think of:
a father who has learned how to discipline and train his children.
a girl who learned a new language so well that she can translate her thoughts fluidly to others.
a woman who has learned compassion through her own life experience.
a man who is eager to share what he has learned to others with honest generosity.
the mothers who have learned to enjoy the beauty of each day with their children.
the man who has learned to love again.
the woman who has learned confidence.
the girl who learned how to be a best friend.

You all make art look so easy.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Last Lesson from Physio

I am on maintenance shedule now. Rob says I have improved and no longer need physiotherapy unless it starts to bother me again.

I have been hearing these words repeatedly from different professionals. I am getting better. They nod at me.
I am nodding too and that brings tears for recoveries.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mother's Day

"Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee." Isaiah 49:15

"he said, It is finished: and he bowed His head, and gave up the ghost." Jn 19:30

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Just doing whatever I want

I am all alone and overdosing on computer time. It is lovely. The family have deserted me for the day/evening. I am spoiling myself and it is not even Mother's Day yet. (even if THEY forget, I will remember)
If there are any wonders to why there are so many poems lately (well 3 in the last 3 days) check out Blue Line in the sidebar. I am inspired.


he handed me the opening of a gift
remembering the teacher
who nonchalantly parceled his lesson
in brown paper bags tied with string

he handed me the opening of a gift
describing the glitter of each wrap
with child anticipation
we held hands and untied

Excerpt from a life

Nov 22, 1973

"Last night I had a dream Mango was moving away it was like a nightmare because I actually woke up crying but I was very relieved to know it wasn't real."

Friday, May 06, 2005

The Librarian

Barreling into the vault
I lick the gold coins
while chains of silver encircle
my waist

Relishing moments
of bottomless frivolity,
I count the bound paper while
joyfully waving loose currency over my head

Dripping with saliva's warmth,
I marvel at each picture, each word
on the whitened precious jewels
while the signet falls to proclaim

Thursday, May 05, 2005

She Wants To...

escape the brightness of
smiles and laughter
"too stressful to keep on"
"too dark to encourage"

mirrors distort the perfected
reality of her disease
and even though discomfort cries
"get me out"

she stays where her words drip on
assembled patrons
not risking a flight to a moonlit beach
where she might draw circles in the sand.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

My Library

Today's Count 480 books but not including reference books, Bibles and study tools, textbooks,etc

Books read 13.5%

Canadian Literature 32 books
Most unread author is Alice Munro. I have 3 of her books, all unmarked..

American Literature 30 books
I have a beautiful copy of Moby Dick and The Bounty Trilogy. (Too beautiful to mark?)

English Literature 19 books
I have copies of Shakespeare from University days and Dickens, of course. etc

Other Literature 14 books
Joyce's Dubliners story, Three Sisters, stumped me. It is very marked but the collection is unfinished.

Fiction 18 books
I was introduced to Maeve Binchy and go to her if I need to.

Anthropological Nonfiction 6 books
I was really in the mood for Aku-Aku.

Historical/Political 11 books
Funny collection of cartoon style books on Marxism for Beginners, Nicaragua for Beginners and Peace for ...

Philosophy 14 books
One day I will actually read one of these, perhaps Plato in 90 Minutes.

Poetry 14 books
Such beautiful words have been written. I have a collection of Sylvia Plath's poems and Ted Hugh's Birthday Letters in response to her words. I have enjoyed The Best Loved Poems of the American People which a friend of mine detests but it has entertained me in the past. Then there is a collection of poetry written by schizophrenics.

Mythology 4 books
After reading Metamorphosis, I obtained a few more books from antiquity, except I can never remember if I have the Odyssey or the Iliad while in the middle of a bookstore.

Religious Books (self-help, fiction) 59 books
I once hosted a religious book party where only my roommate and I were present. The salesperson said not to worry as she usually didn't make so many sales.

Entertainment 4 books
A couple of books on old movies and the origin of theatre.

Photography 4 books
I have a beautiful book called Islands at the Edge. It is about Queen Charlotte's Island which is located off the coast of British Columbia. My husband and I traveled there on our honeymoon.

Children 23 books
I have books ranging from birthday party ideas to how to deal with teenagers.

Marital 13 books
So far I haven't needed the help. Just kidding. My favorite title is Intimate Enemy. I also have, as must every bargain shopping wife, Being Married Happily Forever by Ernest Borgnine's wife. It has a great cover and even some sound advice but I only got as far as chapter 4.

Humor 2 books
What can I say?

Self Help 53 books !!
It is difficult to pass up a possible cure for some lingering problem areas. Great titles are Creative Agression ( I felt I had to hide this from my husband along with the Intimate Enemy) and Brain Building.

Business 14 books
I was at a garage sale and the owner who was a retired salesperson thought I needed advice and gave me a bunch of free books.

Exercise 9 books
I read 44.4% of my exercise books, which is a record of all the other categories.

Diet 4 books
My dieting days are over, I hope, but what is left is meager in comparison to what I once owned on this subject. My favorite one in this category, which doesn't necessarily mean I read it, is Losing It:America's Obsession with Weight and The Industry That Feeds On It (by Laura Fraser for those interested).

Beauty 7 books
What clothes to wear( from the 80's) and how to do my nails, which I don't have time to actually do but which my 13 year old daughter might appreciate. She used black marker on her toes the other day. Shh...

Speaking 5 books
I am sure there are great ideas in there.

Writing 12 books
More great ideas sitting there.

Art/Creativity 35 books
My favorite title is So You Want To Be a Rock Star and 50 Great Scenes for Student Actors. Hey ,there is a lot you don't know about me !

Time/Money Management 16 books
I sometimes get real keen on finding the perfect balance and sometimes not.

Native Indian 27 books
I keep my native books in my native accessorized bedroom. They look great with my husband's westerns.

Neuroses 17 books
This section is kept beside my bed, hopefully in such a private spot no one would dare to browse through.

There is a huge used book sale on right now at a mall nearby. I have been there already and only spent $3.25. I overheard another shopper say that she already spent $50 that morning and here she was back again in the afternoon. She exclaimed, "and the week is only beginning."
Some people just cannot control themselves!

I plan on taking the kids tomorrow...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"Come now and let us reason together, saith the Lord"

The following is a comment I left on Forty Bicycles blog. I am not a theologian but I am a student of God's Word. It is a duty and an honor to earnestly contend. Jude 1:3

Dear Alastair,
I read your "Plagiarizing Myself II " article on baptism from Nov 4, 2004. Sorry, it has taken so long to respond since my April 14,2005 comment.

As I understand, there are some key points that we agree upon, mainly that in baptism a person dies with Christ and is risen with Him into a newness of life (Rom 6:3-5 and Col 2:12). Also, that it is through baptism that people are brought into Christ (Gal 3:26-27), and become a member of His body.

Regarding what you have said about regeneration and conversion, I agree that conversion happens before regeneration. Conversion, according to Vine's Dictionary, "implies a turning from or turning to.” Therefore, there has to be an inner change from one state to another. Regeneration is the new birth. I think that the difference in these two ideas is demonstrated in Acts 2:37-38. The people that heard Peter and the apostles preaching the gospel were pricked in their heart and asked what they must do to be saved. This shows that their thinking had changed and they were converted to the words of the apostles. Then they were baptized in v41 and received the regeneration or rebirth into a new life. Rom 6:4

The changing of the heart is something we do, not God. See Matt 13:15 and John 12:39-40. It is by understanding when we read, hear or see God's Word, that we are convicted of the truth and that is what converts us. John 3:20 shows His Word sheds light on man’s deeds but most in the world do not want their deeds to be reproved and thus avoid the light. They cannot be converted if they won't listen.

Baptism does bring the person into the body of Christ but it is also at this point that one becomes a Christian and salvation is given. See again Mark 16:16, Acts 2:38-41 and Gal 3:25-29 (Note that the heirs of the promise are those that have been baptized into Christ by faith)

John 3 is about regeneration. Regeneration is baptism. Being born again by the water and the blood are referring to the waters of baptism which are sprinkled with the blood of the slain Lamb. The kingdom which we enter upon baptism is the church of which Jesus is king.

Baptism is an act of faith because there is belief that what the Scriptures say are true and if someone believes, then he will do as that person instructs. This does not make someone worthy of a reward (faith by works) as it is only expected of him. Luke 17:7-10.

Infants or children are not in need of baptism. They are so pure and innocent that Jesus used them as an example of the kind of heart that is needed to receive the kingdom. Luke18:17. A parent cannot decide for their child what path they will choose. A parent can only train them in the ways of righteousness (Prov 22:6) and trust their child to make a wise decision for themselves once they are able. Children are unaccountable for their actions for they are innocent as were Adam and Eve in the garden until they willfully defied God.

Infants are not capable of faith or repentance. Both faith (Acts 18:8) and repentance (Acts 2:38) are required of the candidates themselves for baptism. Heb 11:6 states that “without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." In the argument for infant baptism, it is believed that the faith of the parents will bring the baby into Christ but in this verse, it is the faith of the person himself that is required.

Infants cannot be in solidarity or pledge allegiance with anyone. This must occur when they are able to choose for themselves. God places people into the church (Acts 2:47) not the parents. It is by hearing the gospel and responding to it that one is saved. God draws people through the Word but an infant cannot be drawn because he cannot understand. (John 6:44-45) Children attend the services with their parents and are taught by both their parents and the church but they are taught so that they themselves will one day respond.

People are to be like a child in their simple trust of God not because of their lack of knowledge or understanding. Adults can be weak in the faith but this does not mean that babies are to included because of their weakness.

Repentance is an internal reality with external behavior. See Luke3:7-8. Both faith and repentance are seen by a persons' obedience.

God's Word is the external means which internally convicts the soft soil of a heart. This conviction leads to repentance, Acts 2:37-38. That person acts by confessing that Jesus is the Son of God and obeying the words that said to be baptized in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Matt 28:19

Monday, May 02, 2005

Birthday Party

Pizzas for supper and frozen smartie and skor ice cream pizzas for cake. It is sunny and warm, so kickball is on. I am not a party gal though.

When I was, the birthday girl would never have thought of her Mom hanging out while she played Red Rover or devised a new version. Mom stayed in the kitchen while we had the fun.
I invariably spilled the koolaid. Mom would grumble that this happened every year as she wiped up the stickiness from the plastic table cover, which was only brought out for this occasion. Afterwhich, pieces of cake were peeked under to find the dime (or quarter as it progressed through the years).

The parties abruptly stopped at my sixteenth. I remember feeling neglectfully grownup. I wonder if Mom was relieved at the ending.

They are here; seven boys ready for a game of kickball. Yes, I've decided that they do not need the Mom supervising their play after all.

After all he is twelve, soon to be sixteen.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

I See...

sitting perched
four stories above
thinking of the choice
of this position

i could easily
fall or compulsively jump
be suddenly
misplaced by a decision

then i more easily
choose other affections
falling and jumping
into the allure of their dive

so I will enjoy
this respite of free will
sitting firm
four stories above

Psalm 119:92

"Unless thy law had been my delights, I should then have perished in mine affliction."