Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Collective Agreement

between said homemaker, Carol and her respective family

The agreement
1.0 will be effective from May 26,2005 until the said homemaker grows bored with said agreement.
1.1 entitles the homemaker to apply for retroactive hours of leisure.

General Definitions
2..0 Homemaker applies to Carol. who by definition is an on-call employee .
2.1 The homemaker is not a temporary position in accordance with the covenantal provision of Matt 19.5 and 19.6.
2.2 Carol, the homemaker will be considered a casual employee. This will ensure flexibilty and the ability to decline hours if she so desires.
2.3 There will be no transfers, promotions or resignations but there will be several benefits.

Family Rights
3.0 The said family is entitled to complain if they:
i. have no clean underwear
ii. have not received sufficient air time
3.1 The said family has no entitlement to lay-off, demote, discipline, suspend or discharge their homemaker.
3.2 Other family members are to be treated with the same consideration as the homemaker.

No Strikes or Lockouts
4.0 If said homemaker is perceived to be involved in an illegal strike, slowdown or stoppage of work during the term of this agreement, the family will instruct her to return to her work only after ensuring that she is not just involved in a long coffeebreak.

5.0 Regular hours will be 7 3/4 hours.The homemaker will be entitled to spend the remainder of the time in any pursuit that is deemed necessary for the well being of her soul.
5.1 Split shifts and even multi-split shifts are encouraged.
5.2 The homemaker is entitled to Sundays off.
5.3 If the homemaker is at another job site those hours will count towards her day's quota. Overtime may be required.
5.4 There will be two rest periods of 15 minutes, and two meal periods of 30 minutes.

Availability During Rest and Meal Periods
1.0 The homemaker will be required to be available to return to work at any time as long as there is sufficient proof of necessity.

Wage Appendix


moira said...

I love it!

zeb said...

Who is your shop steward?

Jennifer said...

You need longer rest periods. When does one get time to blog?

daughter said...

Who agreed to that? There has to be more then one person to make an agreement.

And whoever you are Moira, don't encourage her.

Carol said...

Oh no, management...

Carol said...

Oh Jennifer,
Don't worry, I have it all figured out.
8 hrs sleep
8 hrs work
which leaves another 8 hours!!

zeb said...

Sounds like some collective bargaining may be in order in order to get the contract ratified