I don't like to talk about being unpopular. I have never been popular and do not expect to be but deep down there is a strong desire to be approved by others. It hurts to have a need that I think others can fill but not I. This hidden, damaged part of me is a result of growing up with imperfections and having no one teach me the power and necessity of self-love.
I know this desire to be liked is superficial and that on a deeper level, it is of little consequence and is even detrimental to the artistic side of me.
I am learning that others can't give me what I need. I need to fill that void with my own love and approval.
I am learning to gratify the surfacing pulses of creativity in ways that are uniquely Carol.
If others want to peer over my shoulder, then I am honored but it is not my right.
Inspired by this blog slant.