Thursday, September 22, 2005

I Don't Wanna Talk About It!

I don't like to talk about being unpopular. I have never been popular and do not expect to be but deep down there is a strong desire to be approved by others. It hurts to have a need that I think others can fill but not I. This hidden, damaged part of me is a result of growing up with imperfections and having no one teach me the power and necessity of self-love.

I know this desire to be liked is superficial and that on a deeper level, it is of little consequence and is even detrimental to the artistic side of me.
I am learning that others can't give me what I need. I need to fill that void with my own love and approval.
I am learning to gratify the surfacing pulses of creativity in ways that are uniquely Carol.

If others want to peer over my shoulder, then I am honored but it is not my right.

Inspired by this blog slant.


Jennifer said...

Hey, is so good to be able to read your posts again. I have been offline for an entire month, just able to check in here and again. I struggle with the same need for approval, and my therapist is trying to teach me to love myself. Some days are easier than others.

Carol said...

Hi Jennifer,
It is so good to hear from you and see your smiling picture!
Thanks for your empathetic words.