Smoking was more acceptable back then. I was allowed to smoke in the lab beside the acetone. After a drive with me, a huge puff of smoke released when the door opened but no one ever complained. It never occurred to me to quit. I was young and addicted.
When I was engaged, I bought a beautiful silver clutch and matching Bic's lighter cover to go with my wedding dress. Before the cash receipt was in my wallet, I knew I was doomed to quit before I would use them.
A fellow at work fasted for me while I clung on to the last butt. "Let go," he said, probably hoping to quit his fast. So I did.
I returned the clutch and lighter cover, had a wonderful smoke-free wedding but then two years later after my first daughter was born, I surprised myself by finding a cigarette in my hand, once again.
I did not want to have another child while I was smoking, but I finally decided that quitting again wasn't going to happen and decided to get pregnant anyways. Even though the doctor and nurses said it wasn't my fault, I was again determined to quit after a miscarriage.
No one offered to fast for me this time, but I believed that God could help me and had experience with the twelve steps already so I went to Nicotine Anonymous. I again experienced success in overcoming the nicotine habit. That was 14 years ago.
What helped me quit initially:
- Having a reason to quit.
- Doing the steps, especially having faith in my "Higher Power."
- Deep breathing. My lung capacity wasn't very good initially but I could feel that my lungs desired to open up to the more available oxygen.
- Having support.
- Realizing that the craving wasn't going to last. I only had to endure the discomfort for a little while.
- Taking up exercising. My body craved activity.
- I admit I didn't keep going to the twelve step group but I stayed long enough to get the help I needed plus do some twelfth step work, which is helping other people suffering from the same addiction.
- Never put the thought of smoking into my mind again although there were dreams that I continued to have for a couple of years after.
- Gratitude for the two other children I had afterwards.
- Addiction is a call for help and my addictions proved to be a great blessing in my life. As a result of them, I was forced to develop spiritually because I wanted to be free.