Saturday, February 18, 2006

Excerpts from a Life

October 29, 1975
"I'm so tired and bored with counting calories but without it, I'm lost. I feel huge temptations creeping back on me. I don't know what I'll do if I regain the weight.
I'm so troubled, bored with life. Why am I here? What is life? Ants crawling, birds flying, the cat sitting on the chair. What is its' purpose? Nothing makes me happy anymore. All I do is worry about existing.

November 2, 1975
I've changed my thoughts a lot since last time I wrote. I feel much happier.
I'm on a new diet 600-400-700 calories. If I don't gain, I'll add more calories. The scale showed 109 lbs this morning.

November 21, 1975
I hope I don't gain weight. Weigh 107 lbs.

December 1, 1975
Friday afternoon during school, I felt sick so I came home. Lucky thing too for in the evening I felt extremely sick.
During the weekend, I planned all my meals for the next day. I enjoy planning and besides, I never knew how much is allowed in 1800 calories. Weigh 103-104 lbs. Didn't go to school today.
Oh yeah, R-Lynne told me a while back that Chevy drove a girl to school.

To read previous entries, go here.

5 comments:

Chrixean said...

Hey, i'm having a party! You're invited! Come by my site! :-)

Carol said...

All right. I'm outta here...

sister celtic said...

HEY I'LL READ THIS TOMARROW AND COMMENT.. WANNA KNOW WHAT I SAW TODAY... YES BARBRA GO TO LAZY DAISY AND MY BLOG.. WHOA..

jane said...

you were dieting at 107 lbs? i dont know the history here, but were you anorexic or bulemic? i'm guessing yes.
Aside from that, I think it's amazing that you have diary entries from the 70s. My gosh, I wish I did.
Very interesting!

Carol said...

Jane,
At the beginning of these excerpts, I was much heavier. At this point, I was trying to maintain the weight I had lost but I was finding it difficult to not want to continue to lose more.
I was never diagnosed as anorexic; I don't think this term was even known in the small town I lived in at the time.