Phobias

I read that the average man has 2.21 phobias.
Women have 3.55!
What about you?

I hope none reading suffer from barophobia which I think would be the worst phobia on the list. This is the fear of gravity. Would this be the fear that gravity might suddenly stop or the fear of being attached to the planet itself? This is just too terrible and being as susceptible as I am, I am afraid I will develop it. The second worst one is optophobia, the fear of opening one's eyes. I can understand the fear of closing one's eyes, but opening?
Other peculiar ones are:
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple.
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.


Reading this list makes me almost glad for the phobias I do have. Which, to name a few are:
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Hypsiphobia or acrophobia- Fear of heights.
To a limited degree, laliophobia or lalophobia- Fear of speaking.
and as for the rest you will have to guess.

They are NOT:
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.
Sophophobia- Fear of learning.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Homilophobia- Fear of sermons.
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.

Stupid laws!

Why are there so many stupid rules made?
I am not talking about the moral laws that protect our lives against murder and theft etc but the silly little laws that man likes to make.

Why make them at all?
A legality to avoid law suit?
A means to establish some order on an unordered society? It does so because if you draw a line, most will go over it but it is best to draw it anyways. Then people will feel good if they break the law just a little bit and will hopefully keep it at that.
The problem is that the law makers might not really expect you to keep the law but if you don't and the circumstances are favorable, you could be in big trouble.

I wonder about the type of person that actually goes around noting who violates such laws.
I wonder about the people that keep these laws so meticulously.
I wonder about the people that don't believe rules apply to them because of these stupid examples that they think proves everything.
I wonder at those who walk between the lines.

Proverbs 16:31

"The ear that heareth the reproof of life
abideth among the wise."

Excerpt from a life

Feb 22, 1974
Went to Rotary Carnival. You don't know how hard I was wishing that Chevy would be there and he was. He came with his brother. He was sitting on the same side as us. (Mango and I) Every few seconds I'd check to see if he was there. He's so cute. Mango, of course, doesn't think so. She won't even let me talk about him and I just have to. But I gave her a compliment and she let me at least say something about him. Sometimes I'd look at him and he'd be looking my way. I wish he'd like me. I think I'm the only one that likes him.

The God-fearing characters of the Bible seem flawless. Then you look again and see that Moses who is referred to in the Bible as a man and a servant of God actually refused to speak for Him. Noah, who walked with God, got inebriated. In the Old Testament, men were polygomous, including the wise King Solomon. The biggest example of sinfulness among the faithful is King David. He committed adultery then murdered her husband. This was a man who was after God's heart.

Anyone who thinks that they are not good enough to become a Christian needs to look again. These Bible characters are considered great because they believed that there is nothing that God cannot do. Even though this does not take place quickly as is evidenced by the above examples, God does perfect the imperfect. He purifies the impure and makes holy His children.

Smell

Smell is powerful evoker of memories.

A candle just snuffed out immediately takes me back to my Catholic upbringing. White and red robed boys appear before me extinguishing the candles after mass. A marble Jesus dies on a cross against a backdrop of red brick.

In the spring, lilacs watch my sister and I walking to school. We stop to smell and I get too close to their aroma and scratch my eye on a lilac bush. Lilacs are still my favorite flower. I cannot get close enough.

Sage in a prairie field and there I am with my Mother who says she loves the smell of sage as she rolls a piece between her palms. I know now she was remembering the reserve where she grew up, the crushed sage to her nose.

Collective Agreement

between said homemaker, Carol and her respective family

The agreement
1.0 will be effective from May 26,2005 until the said homemaker grows bored with said agreement.
1.1 entitles the homemaker to apply for retroactive hours of leisure.

General Definitions
2..0 Homemaker applies to Carol. who by definition is an on-call employee .
2.1 The homemaker is not a temporary position in accordance with the covenantal provision of Matt 19.5 and 19.6.
2.2 Carol, the homemaker will be considered a casual employee. This will ensure flexibilty and the ability to decline hours if she so desires.
2.3 There will be no transfers, promotions or resignations but there will be several benefits.

Family Rights
3.0 The said family is entitled to complain if they:
i. have no clean underwear
ii. have not received sufficient air time
3.1 The said family has no entitlement to lay-off, demote, discipline, suspend or discharge their homemaker.
3.2 Other family members are to be treated with the same consideration as the homemaker.

No Strikes or Lockouts
4.0 If said homemaker is perceived to be involved in an illegal strike, slowdown or stoppage of work during the term of this agreement, the family will instruct her to return to her work only after ensuring that she is not just involved in a long coffeebreak.

WORKING CONDITIONS
5.0 Regular hours will be 7 3/4 hours.The homemaker will be entitled to spend the remainder of the time in any pursuit that is deemed necessary for the well being of her soul.
5.1 Split shifts and even multi-split shifts are encouraged.
5.2 The homemaker is entitled to Sundays off.
5.3 If the homemaker is at another job site those hours will count towards her day's quota. Overtime may be required.
5.4 There will be two rest periods of 15 minutes, and two meal periods of 30 minutes.

Availability During Rest and Meal Periods
1.0 The homemaker will be required to be available to return to work at any time as long as there is sufficient proof of necessity.

Wage Appendix

Mood: discouraged

Ask why:
A co-worker wondered what I do all day since I only work two shifts. I didn't feel like elaborating. Her question made me doubt my productivity as all I really want to do is write. Perhaps I have been overindulging.

Work is busy after a long weekend.

I feel like I should be always positive but I am not. Sometimes I just want to isolate.

The words that hurt the most are when I tell myself, "I am not good enough."

Solution:
The reality is I am obsessed with writing. The good part about this is that it is helping me. I am still getting the essentials done. My family is not complaining.

Most people are used to running at full speed. Stress is dangerous to our minds and bodies. Not everyone can understand the people that prefer to live a de- stressed life.

The lab is a busy place. I want to be a good team player and not take conflicts personally.

I can not be positive all the time. There might be people who can but I have to accept where I am right now.

I am good enough!

"I have a wonderful life", I say as a bell tinkles.

I Think I Understand

We were at my in laws today. My Father in law has been put in a lodge. It might be temporary. He is 89 years old. His wife burned herself out. My theory is that she is trying too hard to protect him.

I have never seen him angry before and it's not as if it is very apparent, just an under current of rebellion. Like, he refused to use the walker and hit the automatic door button with his cane. "That is what it is for."

I wanted to tell her to let go.

I wanted to tell him I understand his sense of betrayal.

I thought how similar I am to her.
wanting to protect
wanting to control
inability to cope when I can't
eyes looking for sympathy

I thought how similar I am to him.
not wanting to be told what to do
wanting to disguise my anger
not wanting to be left alone
eyes looking for sympathy

I love them both. It is hard for a daughter in law, too.

The Wait

"He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly: Amen.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus."

Revelation 22:20

Not an excerpt, but a memory sparked by one...

I was in grade 9. For music, we had to critique a song and present it to the class.
I poured over my records. Knowing that my Partridge Family records were not cool, I asked my older sister if I could borrow one of hers. She looked through her albums and handed me Cream and Steppenwolf albums. After listening to the songs she suggested for the first time, I chose Steppenwolf's "Magic Carpet Ride". I did my analysis and felt prepared.

I stood before the class and explained the drug connotations.My classmates liked my selection, especially a boy called Sam.
He asked me if the class could hear "The Pusher" from the album as well. I said "Sure!"
Then I sat,stunned, while John Kay belted out, "Goddam the pusher" over and over again while Sam rocked to the music with his eyes closed. It seemed to be a long song.

The moment was redeemed after class though when Sam said to me,"Hey Rodunski, you're all right!"


last name changed to protect the naive

Music Meme Variation

I was tagged by Jennifer
for a music meme. I am tweaking it abit as I don't know the rules for meming.

1. What is your music listening style
eg. listen to one song over and over and over
or sing and dance to all your favorite tunes pretending you are in front of a packed audience

2. What is your favourite source of music? and why?
eg. radio because it is cheap
or from the library because the songs you like can't be purchased anymore and oh yes, it is cheap

3. What is the last music recording that you purchased?
eg.Jann Arden's Greatest Hits or Alison Krausse and Union Station's Lonely Runs Both Ways or an 8-track of Convoy by C.W. McCall (Don't look at me!)

4. What are your 5 favorite songs?
eg. I Can See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash
Whatever Happened to Old Fashioned Love by B. J. Thomas
Heartbeat, It's a Lovebeat by Tony DeFranco
Lion by Shari Ulrich
Crazy Monkey by Jensen Interceptor
(If anybody has heard of these artists, please leave a comment!)

5. Who do you want to respond to this meme?
eg anyone who is willing to share

My Children (about time)

My eldest daughter wants to be a graphic artist. I can imagine her doing that. Today she brought home a DVD that she made along with two of her classmates. Her Dad and I were impressed by the camera angles and special effects.
Her art teacher this year is stressing the purpose of art. She is catching on that art is more than just copying well. She is talented. I am proud.

I like to tease my middle girl that she should be a laboratory technologist. She groans and says, "That's boring, Mom!" Seriously, I think she would make a really good mom. She is patient. She quietly tells me,"No, you can't go on the computer, I have homework!" She is gentle except to her brother. She is good at laundry and she keeps her bedroom tidy.She is a caregiver. She doesn't know what she wants to do yet but I can't wait to see as her choices unfold. I am proud.

My son, the youngest, wants to be a newspaper editor. He started his own class newspaper and his classmates lined up to read the one hand-written edition. He recruited his friends to write the articles, make puzzles and cartoons. He is the only child in his class to know what the National Post is and he asked for the National Geographic as a birthday present.
I haven't actually asked today but I am thinking that his career choice might have changed to musician. He is currently into playing his guitar and recently purchased ukulele.Either way, I am proud.

I'm Tired

I did not sleep well last night, up at 3 am. Having warm milk did not help this time. Doing progressive muscle relaxation exercises also did not help. I moved to the livingroom so as not to disturb my husband and the cat thought that it was time for breakfast. She cried by my head. Then I had to work today at 7 am. I made it, though.

To help me stay awake at work:
I prayed.
I phoned a friend to pray for me.
I did quigong exercises in the handicap bathroom stall at coffee.
I went outside at noon for some fresh air.

After work, I raced by the kids saying, I have to get some sleep. I listened to a relaxation tape of acoustic guitar and ocean surf. It did relax me but I did not fall asleep. I phoned by husband to pick up some Kentucky Fried Chicken while I, okay I admit it, went on the computer, alternated with lying on the couch. Now, I've skipped the Wednesday Bible Class.

Sometimes, you just gotta do...

Her Name is Beloved

She is an optimist and a sweet woman. She massages my neck and encourages me softly with her English accent. She is a newlywed that adores her change of status. Her eyes look softly on her husband as she recalls their first meeting again. Her co-workers warned her not to sit with him because he was strange. We always laugh at this and nudge him.

She had a photographic memory and was a well admired child. She was going to be a veterinarian. There was so much hope for this girl.

but

Her husband has to tape notes on the wall reminding her of the household duties. She gets lost in the city yet she walks at night. She hands out sesame bars to panhandlers.

She stuffs gauze under her eyeglass lens when her eye hurts, a remnant from twenty years ago.

She looks at herself and her usual understanding sours for a minute as she remembers the car accident that changed her neurological patterns. Then she looks again at her husband.

Series of Attachments and Separations

there was birth
followed
by the expected
losses of attention

there were other sisters
some lost more

I survived

I found another faithful parent
whose womb I need not leave

Psalm 136:1

"O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever."

Excerpt from a life

Nov 25,1973
I didn't go to church. I found out I can do the splits.Legs are sore from doing splits and dancing so much.

Dec. 9,1973
Slept in late, 11:30. Didn't go to church. Went skating.

Dec. 30,1973
Today I didn't go to church.

Come let us reason together part II

For those interested in reading the discussion I have been having with Alastair on the subject of baptism and whether infants need to be baptized go to here and scroll to see last comment on May 3/05 post.

They All Have a Thing to Say

My eldest's chore today was to make the crust for the meat pies I was making from the leftover roast. We had a great visit while she recounted the activities of her schoolday.

"Are you sure that you are remembering to double the ingredients?" I asked in between her stories.
"Yes, yes," looking perturbed as she usually does when I remind her to do things.
I learned that her physics teacher spent class time to show them his travel slides of Israel and Mount Everest. "How thoughtful," I think but keep quiet.

"Let me test your honesty..."
"Oh, oh!" I think and she asks me if she is a good singer. Her friends, Andrew and Richard, were impressed to hear her voice as she sang to midi versions of Beatles songs. They teasingly inquired whether she would on the school's idol show. Then Andrew obsessed and sang to midi songs all afternoon.

"Oh, Mom, this doesn't look right," she points to the small lump of pastry. "I forgot to double the shortening." So she starts over again and I get to hear what happened yesterday.

These after school moments when they are full to share and I am ready to receive are precious.

She uses the leftover pie dough to make her favorite Sneak Pie loaded with brown sugar, margerine and milk.

At supper, she announces to her siblings that it is pie day.
Her sister says,"No, March 14th is Pi Day." We all look at her in surprise.