Hi Everyone,
It was Revision's 3rd Anniversary on Feb 19th! I haven't left the blogging world even though I haven't been posting lately.
Right now, I am in the hospital and have been here for the last three days. Life without medication will have to wait. I am doing well though, so don't be like me and worry...
Love ya!
Showing posts with label Bipolar Happenings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bipolar Happenings. Show all posts
Friday, February 22, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Friday, November 30, 2007
I told myself. "It would be nice if you kept your concerned blogpals updated on how you are doing sans lithium..."
So here you are-
I took the this week off from work so I could work on our home budget (and stop the lithium at the same time. Bad combination?)
I like sorting things so I had a lot of fun placing the year's bank transactions into the different expenditure columns of the budget program we have. I felt kinda high and jumpy inside, afterwards. Really, I lead such an exciting life...
Anyways, to calm myself down, I did some Qui Gong and a quick pre-blog meditation. I imagined that I was sitting by the sea like the character in Alexander Scala's novel I just finished reading.
Dr. Swarthmore experienced a revelation as he sat by the ocean. So I imagined being beside God and feeling His immense presence. I felt little but in harmony with God and the rhythm of the sea.
Does that sound high?
I took the this week off from work so I could work on our home budget (and stop the lithium at the same time. Bad combination?)
I like sorting things so I had a lot of fun placing the year's bank transactions into the different expenditure columns of the budget program we have. I felt kinda high and jumpy inside, afterwards. Really, I lead such an exciting life...
Anyways, to calm myself down, I did some Qui Gong and a quick pre-blog meditation. I imagined that I was sitting by the sea like the character in Alexander Scala's novel I just finished reading.
Dr. Swarthmore experienced a revelation as he sat by the ocean. So I imagined being beside God and feeling His immense presence. I felt little but in harmony with God and the rhythm of the sea.
Does that sound high?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The Race
Every couple of months, I indulge myself with time off from my scheduled hectic life. I call it my downtime. I try to limit this time to two days because I have found that in the past, this time of inactivity can be guilt invoking and lead to a type of induced depression. This time, however, has been a delicious exception.
For the last couple of days, I have allowed this time to be a healing experience. It is especially significant for me because I planned to use this time to initiate my freedom from the drug Lithium.
I became a Christian in 1991, baptized into Christ's body. Since then Jesus has been changing me, not miraculously, but by the natural progression of living and facing life with God's goodness. Through the power of faith, I have overcome an eating disorder. Now, I am ready to face another mental illness, Bipolar Disorder or Manic/Depression.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 1988. I had been taking lithium ever since. I had not experienced any further mania but I continued to struggle with depression and anxiety over the years.
Do not think that I decided to go off the Lithium impulsively as I was content to remain on it for the rest of my life.
I met a someone who was to become a major influence in my life. He believed after our many conversations that I would one day be able to stop taking the medication. He repeatedly told me that nothing was the matter with my thinking.
I tentatively came to believe that this would be possible some day.
In 2001, I attended a seminar given through work by a Canadian Olympian, Silken Laumann. She was a rower and was training for the 1992 Olympics when she was in a rowing accident that ripped her muscles apart. Through the medical skill of others and her own determination and self-discipline, she endured 5 operations on her ravaged leg. She managed to still compete in the Olympics which was only 11 weeks from the time of her accident. She won bronze.
After her motivational speech, I made my way up to her and told her that I had Bipolar Disorder. She asked me, "Do you think you can overcome it?" I looked steadfastedly back into her eyes, and said, "Yes!" She could see in my eyes that I meant it.
Now, 6 years later, I am ready to face this challenge.
Yesterday evening as I was wondering how to spend some more of my precious downtime hours, I came across the tv movie of her life that I taped several years ago. It seemed a fitting time to watch it.
God is my Rock.
I don't know if I will win bronze or gold in this race against my mental illness, but this is my moment to give it all I got...
For the last couple of days, I have allowed this time to be a healing experience. It is especially significant for me because I planned to use this time to initiate my freedom from the drug Lithium.
I became a Christian in 1991, baptized into Christ's body. Since then Jesus has been changing me, not miraculously, but by the natural progression of living and facing life with God's goodness. Through the power of faith, I have overcome an eating disorder. Now, I am ready to face another mental illness, Bipolar Disorder or Manic/Depression.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 1988. I had been taking lithium ever since. I had not experienced any further mania but I continued to struggle with depression and anxiety over the years.
Do not think that I decided to go off the Lithium impulsively as I was content to remain on it for the rest of my life.
I met a someone who was to become a major influence in my life. He believed after our many conversations that I would one day be able to stop taking the medication. He repeatedly told me that nothing was the matter with my thinking.
I tentatively came to believe that this would be possible some day.
In 2001, I attended a seminar given through work by a Canadian Olympian, Silken Laumann. She was a rower and was training for the 1992 Olympics when she was in a rowing accident that ripped her muscles apart. Through the medical skill of others and her own determination and self-discipline, she endured 5 operations on her ravaged leg. She managed to still compete in the Olympics which was only 11 weeks from the time of her accident. She won bronze.
After her motivational speech, I made my way up to her and told her that I had Bipolar Disorder. She asked me, "Do you think you can overcome it?" I looked steadfastedly back into her eyes, and said, "Yes!" She could see in my eyes that I meant it.
Now, 6 years later, I am ready to face this challenge.
Yesterday evening as I was wondering how to spend some more of my precious downtime hours, I came across the tv movie of her life that I taped several years ago. It seemed a fitting time to watch it.
God is my Rock.
I don't know if I will win bronze or gold in this race against my mental illness, but this is my moment to give it all I got...
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Remember My Life Insurance Scare...
As you might recall, four weeks ago I had a unsettling call from my Insurance broker. She informed me that my request to be insured was denied. (My husband and I are already insured but the premiums have gone up with our age so we decided to check out another company.) She stated that this was unusual and I went into worry mode, fearing the worst.
I sent an email to the Insurance Company requesting that a letter stating the reason I was refused be sent to my Doctor. I didn't see my Doctor until ten days later when she finally received the letter from the Insurance Company.
However when I visited my Doctor , she couldn't locate the letter but told me that she remembered it and that the insurance company had denied me because of kidney disease. I was stunned because I am on lithium, which has the potential to harm the kidneys. I was a mess all weekend.
Then on Tuesday of the following week, I could wait no more and called for another appointment. By then I had done a lot of Internet research and was convinced that not only did I have kidney disease but I might undergo renal failure at any moment.
At that Tuesday appointment, I was about to list my symptoms to her when she confessed that she had mixed up my insurance letter with someone else's. I do not have kidney disease and she doesn't know why they would refuse me for there was nothing in my charts to warrant it.
I laughed, would you believe? I didn't even care that she had made a mistake! I am healthy!
As it has been my long term plan to cut back on Lithium and eventually be Lithium-free anyways, I am now on the low dosage of 600mg/day. I have 2 healthy kidneys that I want to keep happy.
I sent an email to the Insurance Company requesting that a letter stating the reason I was refused be sent to my Doctor. I didn't see my Doctor until ten days later when she finally received the letter from the Insurance Company.
However when I visited my Doctor , she couldn't locate the letter but told me that she remembered it and that the insurance company had denied me because of kidney disease. I was stunned because I am on lithium, which has the potential to harm the kidneys. I was a mess all weekend.
Then on Tuesday of the following week, I could wait no more and called for another appointment. By then I had done a lot of Internet research and was convinced that not only did I have kidney disease but I might undergo renal failure at any moment.
At that Tuesday appointment, I was about to list my symptoms to her when she confessed that she had mixed up my insurance letter with someone else's. I do not have kidney disease and she doesn't know why they would refuse me for there was nothing in my charts to warrant it.
I laughed, would you believe? I didn't even care that she had made a mistake! I am healthy!
As it has been my long term plan to cut back on Lithium and eventually be Lithium-free anyways, I am now on the low dosage of 600mg/day. I have 2 healthy kidneys that I want to keep happy.
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